accept a loved one as they are

Do you accept your partner as is, or do you try to change him/her?

September 23, 2017
  • I accept my partner, faults and all
  • I accept most things, but will encourage a change in attitudes or behaviors I disagree with
  • My partner was a reclamation project when I met him/her, so I’m constantly working to bring about change

The passionate whirl of emotions, the poetic pull of two souls, and, inevitably, the age-old question of accepting one’s partner as they are or attempting to remodel them like an old house. I mean, who hasn’t wondered if they were dating the person or a “fixer-upper” project?

1. “I accept my partner, faults and all”

woman standing with teacups and plates behind her

Channeling Bridget Jones vibes, you have people who declare, “I accept my partner just as they are!” It’s the sort of declaration one can imagine being whispered under a blanket of stars or belted out to a Bonnie Tyler track. But, as romantic as it sounds, why do some prefer this approach?

The Perks of Acceptance

Remember the film “The Fault in Our Stars”? There’s a reason it wasn’t called “The Faults in My Partner.” Love is not about finding the perfect person but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. Some people genuinely believe that their partners, like a unique piece of abstract art, are perfect with all their quirks, hiccups, and mismatched socks.

Fun Fact: A survey showed that couples who accept each other’s flaws tend to have more extended and satisfying relationships. So, there’s a statistical advantage to embracing those mismatched socks.

2. “I accept most things, but will encourage a change in attitudes or behaviors I disagree with”

woman measuring man's suit

Let’s get real; not everyone is a Zen monk. Some partners are like those catchy tunes that are mostly amazing but have that one annoying verse (we’re looking at you, earworm choruses!). It’s all love and roses until they leave the milk outside the fridge for the umpteenth time.

Constructive Nudging

Encouraging a partner to change certain behaviors isn’t about being controlling. It can be about personal growth. Think of it as helping them level up, like they’re in a real-life video game of self-improvement. But instead of collecting coins, they’re collecting good habits.

Curious Stat: Did you know that nearly 60% of couples have tried to change their partner’s habits? Whether it’s their partner’s penchant for late-night taco runs or their inexplicable love for dad jokes, there’s always something!

3. “My partner was a reclamation project when I met him/her, so I’m constantly working to bring about change”

Ever watched a home renovation show and thought, “That house looks like a wreck now, but wait till they add some new paint, fix the plumbing, and get rid of that hideous wallpaper!”? Some see their romantic relationships in a similar light.

The Thrill of the Challenge

Some find genuine joy in helping their partners become the best versions of themselves. Think of Eliza Doolittle in “My Fair Lady.” With a bit of guidance and lots of patience, she transformed, and so can partners (hopefully with less singing involved).

Fascinating Factoid: Surprisingly, a study once revealed that partners who felt they “changed” their significant others felt more accomplished in life. It’s like completing a DIY project, but the project is a living, breathing person (minus the instruction manual).

In Conclusion:

From embracing every quirky fault to embarking on transformative relationship journeys, the paths of love are as varied as the American landscape. Whether you’re strolling the serene pathways of acceptance, navigating the gentle hills of encouragement, or trekking the challenging terrains of change, there’s an adventure in every choice. So, next time you’re caught humming to that catchy tune, remember – it’s not about finding the perfect song, but loving every note, high, low, and off-key. Safe sailing on the romance waters, America!

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