How would you describe you and your partner’s psychological compatibility?

March 30, 2019

Most people decide to join their lives with another person only when they are sincerely sure that there is love. But, unfortunately, not all marriages made on love are long and stable. Why does it happen that one married couple lives a life of love and harmony but the other gets divorced shortly after the wedding? 

Psychologists give a clear answer to this question: if people are psychologically incompatible, no passion can save their relationship. In general, when it comes to compatibility, you shouldn’t mistake this for similarity or even equivalence. We are talking about such a characteristic as the correlation of some viewpoints, thoughts, ideals. 

Psychological compatibility is mainly the absence of contradictions between beliefs, their complementarity, matching expectations. Spousal compatibility is the most important condition for the stability and prosperity of the couple. 

For example, two sanguine persons are well-compatible since they support activities, the optimism of each other. The situation is similar with two phlegmatic persons because the pace of their activity allows partners to interact with no hurry. Less compatible are two melancholic types due to their vulnerability, while the least compatible are two choleric partners due to their irritability and reactivity. 

Also, most family psychologists unanimously believe that in order for the marriage of two people to be strong, long and happy, husband and wife should be not only lovers but also friends. And for this purpose, they should have common interests, hobbies, topics for conversations, tastes and the level of culture and intelligence. 

Another factor in the spousal compatibility is their idea about the distribution of roles and responsibilities between wife and husband in the family. That is, partners, in any case, should meet the expectations of each other as much as possible. 

So, how do you rate psychological compatibility with your spouse?

 

  • Outstanding. We’re like two peas in a pod
  • It’s good, but could use some improvement
  • We’re incompatible, but appreciate the differences
  • Incompatible and it’s only a matter of time before we separate
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More In Family

What are your relations with your child (children)?

March 30, 2018

The overwhelming majority of parents want to have warm and trustful relationships between them and their children. It is not only nice but also serves as a certain guarantee of security: it’s terrible when parents learn about something important in their children’s lives after all the others. 

However, in real life, a significant number of parents are faced with the fact that their children are not quite frank with them, they do not want or cannot speak with parents on personal topics and share with them what they are concerned about. Establishing a trust relationship with a child is not easy. It is an entire art, which not everyone can master. The education of trust begins at an early childhood stage. Having barely learned to speak, the child naturally strives to share with parents the things it concerned about. And in this period, it is very important to give the child a sense that her inner world is very important to you. 

Subsequently, when the child reaches the age where they can already express their thoughts and even make decisions and bear responsibility for them, it is important that parents listen to what the child speaks and thinks on one or another occasion. The careless attitude to the feelings of children negatively affects the relationship between children and parents. 

A somewhat common type of relationship between an adult and a child is also the position of a clear denial of the right of the child to their own ego. In this case, parents are convinced that they can decide on their own, instead of the child, because they bear responsibility for him and want the best possible solution. However, in this case, the real desires and feelings of children are rarely taken into account. 

So, what are your relations with your child (children)?

 

  • We have wonderful relations, we understand each other and trust one another
  • Our relationship is not without problems, but we are always trying to find a compromise, and we are working to establish trust
  • Our relationships are complex; we often don’t understand each other and quarrel on various occasion

Are you satisfied with your sex life?

In the initial period of common life, when emotions are still spilling over the edge, the spouses dedicate a significant portion of their time to sexual intercourse. The sex of the initial period of marriage is usually tireless and thirsty. This is absolutely normal because lovers are in the process of getting to know each other. And this, in turn, makes the hormones mad in rage. This usually applies to the first year of marital life.

The second or third year of life in marriage is the time when people already know each other well enough. The crazy passion has subsided, but instead, there came a calm, relaxed love feeling. The husband and wife cease to be ashamed of their bodies – and no longer conceal any personal habits. However, time passes – and, in the end, a significant number of married couples comes to realize that the marriage dulls the passions, which in the first months and years were burning with a hot, almost inexhaustible flame.

As a result, people are often disillusioned with marital sex, which happens less and less often, and some seek solace among other men and women. For some married couples who have been married for many years, sex turns into a frustrating ritual or even disappears altogether. Some people try to put up with the idea that marriage can be happy and without sex.

However, such a situation is not a compulsory rule. There are couples who, even after ten years of marital life, thirst for each other and enjoy the unity of the moment just the same as before. It does not matter to them how many years their marriage lasts, their feelings and intimate adventures can be envied.

So, are you satisfied with the sexual life with your spouse?

 

  • Yes, I’m in a good place.
  • Somewhat, there’s room for improvement.
  • I’m disappointed with it for a number of reasons.
  • What sex life?

Has marriage ruined your sex life?

Hardly anyone will seriously deny the importance of such physiological processes as digestion, breathing, sleep. These are necessary for normal life and functioning of an organism. That is, to eat, to breathe, to sleep is necessary to live. Meanwhile, sex is also a physiological need, just as others, so the role assigned to it is no less significant. 

Sex in marriage is not just a realization of the need for pleasure and sensual delights, first of all, it is the expression of love, the connection of not only two bodies, but at some level the souls. Matrimonial sex of people who love each other is spiritually beautiful, but each couple individually determines the role played by sexual intimacy in their relationship. 

Arguments confirming that sex has some potential to maintain the stability and duration of marriage come from a variety of sources. Many couples confirm that in difficult times sex serves them as a pillar and brings satisfaction. 

However, after being many a year in marriage, a significant number of married couples begin to treat sex as a duty or marital obligation. Over time, for some people, the “chemistry” that flashes between lovers in the early stages of their relationship and marriage dulls and sometimes disappears altogether. For some, the frequency of sex is inexorably reduced, while others, even after decades, spend their sexual life together and, as before, enjoy the pleasures and delight of psychological and emotional proximity to their partner. 

So, what is the role of sex in your marital relationship?

 

  • No, it’s even better than before
  • Somewhat, it’s a bit more bland or mechanical
  • Yes, my partner and I hardly have sex anymore
  • I haven’t been married long enough to know
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