Most people decide to join their lives with another person only when they are sincerely sure that there is love. But, unfortunately, not all marriages made on love are long and stable. Why does it happen that one married couple lives a life of love and harmony but the other gets divorced shortly after the wedding?
Psychologists give a clear answer to this question: if people are psychologically incompatible, no passion can save their relationship. In general, when it comes to compatibility, you shouldn’t mistake this for similarity or even equivalence. We are talking about such a characteristic as the correlation of some viewpoints, thoughts, ideals.
Psychological compatibility is mainly the absence of contradictions between beliefs, their complementarity, matching expectations. Spousal compatibility is the most important condition for the stability and prosperity of the couple.
For example, two sanguine persons are well-compatible since they support activities, the optimism of each other. The situation is similar with two phlegmatic persons because the pace of their activity allows partners to interact with no hurry. Less compatible are two melancholic types due to their vulnerability, while the least compatible are two choleric partners due to their irritability and reactivity.
Also, most family psychologists unanimously believe that in order for the marriage of two people to be strong, long and happy, husband and wife should be not only lovers but also friends. And for this purpose, they should have common interests, hobbies, topics for conversations, tastes and the level of culture and intelligence.
Another factor in the spousal compatibility is their idea about the distribution of roles and responsibilities between wife and husband in the family. That is, partners, in any case, should meet the expectations of each other as much as possible.
So, how do you rate psychological compatibility with your spouse?
- Outstanding. We’re like two peas in a pod
- It’s good, but could use some improvement
- We’re incompatible, but appreciate the differences
- Incompatible and it’s only a matter of time before we separate