couple sitting in a limousine

Can a marriage still be a happy one if the desire is gone?

September 22, 2017
  • Yes
  • I’m not sure
  • No

“Where there is love there is life.”

Mahatma Gandhi

In the timeless journey of life, relationships often evolve. Marriage, one of the most sacred unions, is no exception. A common concern many married individuals share is the waning of desire. But does the fading of passion signal the end of happiness? Let’s embark on a journey through the possibilities, sprinkled with a touch of humor, wit, and wisdom!

calm parents in the backyard with kids running around playing

“Yes, a marriage can be happy without desire.”

For the Realists

As the classic movie When Harry Met Sally reminds us, friendship can be the cornerstone of a romantic relationship. The effervescence of passion may ebb, but the foundation of deep understanding, respect, and friendship can remain. When two people share this bond, the lack of desire might not impact their contentment.

The Practical Angle

A survey showed that about 60% of couples in long-term relationships value companionship over passion. Marriage isn’t just about those steamy scenes we see in Hollywood movies. It’s also about binge-watching your favorite series together, discussing who should take out the trash, and laughing at how weirdly the dog sleeps.

Remember the Classics

Wasn’t it Jane Austen who subtly hinted in Pride and Prejudice that while fiery attraction gets our attention, it’s the shared laughter, resilience, and deep mutual respect that keeps couples together?

“I’m not sure if a marriage can be happy without desire.”

The Philosophical Standpoint

Plato believed in different kinds of love. Eros is the passionate love, full of desire and intimacy. But then there’s Philia, or deep friendship, and Storge, which is familial love. A marriage might transition from Eros to Philia or Storge. Is it still happy? Well, as Shakespeare might say, “That is the question!”

Pop Culture Speaks

Remember that earworm of a song, Can’t Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue? Sometimes, desire’s like that song — you can’t get it out of your head for a while, but then you might go years without humming it. The question is, does the song still bring a smile to your face when it comes on the radio?

The Gamblers of Love

It’s a toss-up! Just like you can’t predict if the next episode of your favorite show is going to be a hit or a miss, you can’t really be sure about the trajectory of desire in a marriage. But hey, some surprises keep life interesting, right?

couple dancing

“No, a marriage cannot be happy without desire.”

For the Romantics

Think about The Notebook. Desire isn’t just about passion; it’s about longing, understanding, and deeply wanting to be with someone. It’s the silent language of two hearts in sync. For some, a marriage without that kind of desire feels incomplete.

The Biological Lens

From an evolutionary standpoint, desire has played a pivotal role in partner selection and procreation. A study found that couples with a sustained level of desire reported higher satisfaction levels in their relationships. If biology had a say, it might lean towards the importance of desire in marital happiness.

Spicing Things Up

There’s a reason the market for romantic getaways and couples’ retreats is booming. A marriage without desire is like pizza without cheese. Sure, you can eat it, but would you really want to? Desire adds the flavor, the zing, the kick! Without it, some argue, the dish feels incomplete.

couple standing at a crossroads, looking in different directions, with a blurry horizon

Final Thoughts on Desire and Marital Bliss

Every marriage is as unique as a snowflake, and while some believe in the comforting warmth of companionship, others seek the fiery heat of passion. Whether you see marriage as a gentle boat ride or a roller coaster of emotions, the essence remains: understanding what makes you and your partner happy.

Remember, the ebb and flow of desire is natural. What’s vital is the communication, understanding, and mutual respect shared between partners. So whether you’re jamming to the tunes of old love songs or seeking wisdom from literary classics, remember that every marriage writes its own story.

Now, dear reader, it’s your turn. Where do you stand in this age-old debate? Whatever your answer, cherish the journey of discovery, for it’s not just about the destination but the path you traverse together.

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