Sad bride with suitcases

Would you marry someone who has divorced before?

September 28, 2017
  • Yes! I don’t care about his or her past
  • I would, but only after learning why the other marriage failed
  • No, too much baggage
  • I’m not sure

Marriage. It’s that thing that happens after you’ve been on enough coffee dates, endured enough shared Netflix episodes, and met the family dog. It’s serious, heartwarming, and often puzzling. But what happens when the person you’re thinking about marrying has been down that aisle before? It’s a big question and one that many Americans grapple with.

Option 1: “Yes! I don’t care about his or her past.”

two people from different backgrounds holding hands

Ah, the modern lover. The one who says, “Honey, your past is like the last season of that show we never finished watching together – irrelevant.” Many proponents of this response likely believe that the present and the future matter more than what someone did years ago. It’s a little like dating someone who once had a mullet; the hairstyle’s gone, but the fun-loving person remains.

According to a survey, approximately 63% of respondents believed that everyone deserves a second chance, be it in love or any other aspect of life. This idea isn’t new. History is filled with tales of second chances, like the time Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity after multiple failed experiments. He didn’t hold lightning’s past against it, now did he?

Option 2: “I would, but only after learning why the other marriage failed.”

Now, this is the group that loves their partner but also loves some good old-fashioned context. They’re not judgmental; they’re just curious cats. After all, we learn about our partners’ favorite ice cream flavors and their most embarrassing moments from childhood. So, why not the story behind a significant life event?

J.K. Rowling, the renowned author, once said, “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” Understanding the choices a potential partner made in the past can illuminate who they are today. This could mean the difference between a smooth sail and a stormy sea in the marriage journey.

Option 3: “No, too much baggage.”

a couple standing at a train station, with one holding numerous suitcases

Luggage. We all have it. Whether it’s the emotional kind or that suitcase that refuses to close unless you sit on it. Some Americans feel that a past divorce might mean too much baggage for a fresh start. It’s akin to buying a used car; you’re not sure what it’s been through, even if it looks great now.

A survey showed that 34% of people believed that past relationships and their challenges can have a lingering effect on future ones. It’s not necessarily a judgment on divorced individuals but rather a personal decision on what kind of relationship dynamics they’re willing to tackle.

“I’m not sure.”

Life is full of uncertainties. Like, why does toast always land butter-side down? Or why do socks disappear in the laundry? Some folks are simply unsure about this marriage question, and that’s perfectly okay. Making decisions about life partners isn’t a task one should rush – just ask anyone who’s tried to eat hot pizza too quickly.

Being uncertain means taking one’s time, feeling out situations, and being open to possibilities. After all, as Oscar Wilde aptly put it, “The heart was made to be broken.” But hey, it also has an uncanny ability to mend and love again.

Let’s Wrap It Up with a Bow (or a Ring?)

America is a land of choices, and that’s evident in the diverse ways people approach the concept of marrying someone who’s been divorced. Whether you’re the optimistic “past is past” kind, the inquisitive “tell me more” type, the cautious “too much history” individual, or the contemplative “let me think about it” person, there’s a universe of reasons behind every perspective.

A final curious fact to chew on: Did you know that in the USA, both men and women who remarry tend to tie the knot with someone who is about five years younger than them? Maybe it’s about seeking a fresh perspective or just the allure of youthful energy. Whatever it is, love always finds a way to surprise us.

So, next time you find yourself at a dinner party, pose this question and see where the conversation goes. Just make sure there’s enough dessert to go around because things might get deliciously intense!

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