Sad child from this father and mother arguing

If your husband or wife raised a hand to your children, what would you do?

October 6, 2016
  • Support him/her. I believe in corporal punishment, to a degree
  • I’d have a talk with him/her and explain why it’s unacceptable
  • Take the children and leave
  • I’m not sure

Violence against children in the family is always striking, especially when you face it personally. Helplessness in this situation, the lack of options to help the child, sympathy for someone who cannot, in fact, fight back – all these feelings overwhelm you when you see a father or mother who beat their child with fury. 

Sometimes parents are beating children for no reason, just like that. Just to release negative feelings or to prove personal authority. And in the vast majority of cases, parents beat children to achieve so-called educational goals – usually, punishing them for misbehavior and disobedience. For example, it may be for bad grades, or the room is not cleaned up, or dishes are unwashed, and so on. 

This systematic method of bringing up children is extremely dangerous. The habit of violence can distort the identity of any child. Growing up, they will learn that power is the only argument in any conflict. In addition, the child can form a victim’s behavior pattern. For vulnerable and sensitive children, this can turn into a psychological trauma for life. 

Its consequences – the inability to properly build relationships with people, including in the family, uncertainty or vice versa, excessive aggressiveness. Also, aggression generates aggression. If a child becomes accustomed to the fact that it is possible and even necessary to beat one who is weaker, this setting can last for life. In any case, this method is ineffective. 

So, if your spouse systematically raises a hand on your children, what would you do?

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